A Gift

Yesterday I got on a bus and looked for a seat.  I went to the back and everyone was standing.  There was one seat no one seemed to take next to a very small Native woman.  I decided to take it.  When I sat down I then realized why no one had taken the seat.  She looked quite rough, and was obviously on some kind of substance.  Drugs, alcohol, it wasn't clear but something.  She wore her wounds on the outside and although I had no idea what they were, I could guess.

I started to read my book and she never stopped shifting in her seat, moving in that agitated way one does when they are on some kind of drug.  I started to wonder whether or not I should have sat there.  Maybe everyone else was smart and I was kind of silly for sitting there.  I decided to bury myself into my book.  After awhile I noticed her straining to see where she should get off, and I could see she was too small to reach the string.  I put down my book and said "are you getting off here, would you like me to pull the string?"  She said "no I don't think its this stop, but soon."  then from her very soul she looked me deep in the eyes and with incredible sincerity and love said "thank-you, that is so considerate and thoughtful of you."  I felt very appreciated and loved.  I then made sure she did know where she was to get off, and then pulled the string when we were sure it was the right stop.

Again she thanked me with love and appreciation.  I felt so uplifted and happy.  It was a truly lovely interaction.

Now who was the angel in that situation?  Those looking on might have thought me.  I sat next to her when no one else would.  I helped her get off the bus at the right stop, pulled the string for her etc.

But I say no.  She was truly the angel yesterday.  First of all, I have done this same thing for many people on buses.  Everyone thanks me, but usually quite casually.  She is the only one to look deep in my eyes and thank me with such sincerity and love, and the only one to praise me as being 'thoughtful and considerate'.  I truly felt loved.  She also made me realize that perhaps thank-you is not enough, what is important is that we reflect back to people positive qualities about themselves.  She seemed to do this so naturally. 

Secondly, she gave me a wonderful gift, which was a reminder that we really are not the packages on the outside.  She wore her wounds and showed the roughness, the neglect, the pain, and probably abuse she has endured, and this repelled people and kind of isolated her.  However, when she looked in my eyes what she showed me was the beauty, kindness and love that was her spirit.  This is the truth.  When we get to the other side all the botox, fitness, designer clothes in the world won't help us.  All that we will show to others and all that others will see of us, is the ugliness or beauty we are inside.  I truly thank her for that reminder.