Yesterday I was on my way to my friend's house to lend her the The Other Side Of Heaven. A book about an Apostle's missionary experience in Tonga. They made a movie about it which is quite good, but not as deep and powerful as the book.
I decided to read randomly excerpts from the book on the way to her house. I didn't even care what part I was reading. As well as finding it so interesting, I was amazed at how much I felt the Spirit. It was soooooooooo strong, pure, happy, light, bright...truly incredible. I found myself being filled with the Holy Spirit just reading this book. I still do some things from other paths that I once knew. I have taken with me the good, and I recently have started as I have mentioned in my previous blogs, started doing Centering Prayer again. I also am learning how to do Transcendental Meditation. Now TM is a very simple meditation that so many people swear by, including my father. It simply helps us disengage from the mind where all the anxious, angry, worried, racing thoughts are, and helps us be still and quiet and simply sit in our spirits.
I am new at doing it, but I feel Heavenly Father really guided me towards it. I have been learning different types of meditation and so far I do a Smile To Your Heart Meditation. Very good. But its still a "doing" meditation. But TM is not doing at all. Its effortless, easy, gentle, and truly feels like it gives me a rest. Which I need. I have always had a fast moving brain, and my mind sometimes overwhelms me with thoughts which do cause me to feel anxious and tense. I know that in our spirit are all the lovely qualities of God. All the qualities of heaven. There lives peace, joy, happiness, love etc.
Now lately as I have been learning and doing other things that are not taught by church I have been comparing how I feel, do I feel the Spirit, does it in any way dampen the Spirit? For awhile I was being either or too much. Either I am in the church, or I do other things. But now I am realizing I can be a Mormon and enjoy, and benefit from anything else that I find useful or positive.
When I was first investigating. One of the things that the Missionaries showed me was Joseph Smith's teaching was that we seek after all things that are good, can embrace anything that is good and use it for our benefit. We don't have to shun things because they belong to the church. That is soooo cool!! So this I am working out.
Working out my own brain that wants to be either or, and I guess I have been use to being in churches and on paths that are very rigid and judgmental, where if you are doing anything that is not of that church or path, you are judged and what you are doing is treated with fear and contempt. I am so glad I don't belong to that kind of church or path anymore. However, now I need to help my own brain be inclusive and gentle in this way.
I spent many years being confused, or feeling like I had to choose one or the other all the time. But if both were good, then I would just feel incredible stress inside. So now I am realizing I can be dedicated Mormon and also learn and do other things that are beneficial to me. I don't have to throw away the church, nor do I have to turn my back on things outside the church that work for me. I am working all this out. I do think Satan has tried to work on me with this.
Tried to convince me that I don't need the church, but to bring this full circle, when I read parts of the Other Side Of Heaven book, I was once again reminded that it is in the church that I feel the Spirit higher, brighter, happier, more innocently and purer than anywhere else. So no Satan, I will not be giving up the church just because I find some other things helpful to my life as well.
I am firmly on the path, and I do not leave the path, just bring onto it things from other sources that I find positive and helpful.
No comments:
Post a Comment