I had this experience recently where I kept feeling a strange hardness in my spirit, sort of over lapping my spirit, interfering with the joy, innocence, purity and light of my spirit. I could not figure out what it was. I do know it felt extremely uncomfortable, and felt like I had swallowed a wrench. Something hard, pointy, harsh, that should not be there. It kind of hurt, and made me feel anxious as well, as I could feel that it was separating me from experiencing my spirit purely, and separately me from feeling intimate with Heavenly Father.
I had several blessings to be rid of this, prayed tons, read the scriptures a lot, but I could still feel it in there. Sometimes I would go all day with out being aware of it, but if I was very quiet and still I could feel it. Over the last few days I could feel Heavenly Father directing me to go see a movie that just came out. It's about Owls, called Legend of the Guardians. I went to see it last night, the whole time I was in the movie I kept asking God why am I here, what message am I to get? I got one message from the movie about myself, but still there felt like there was something quite large I was to get from this .
This morning I was praying about it, and feeling once again the disturbing hard feeling inside of me and all of sudden I got it all, why I was to see the movie and what the hard feeling was that had been plaguing me. It was all about the spirit of rebellion. In the movie there are two brothers.
One totally believes and follows his father and the other one disbelieves him and rebells and ends up then being lured and controlled by owls of the dark that have negative, intentions. The other one stays dedicated to the light and to goodness. They both reap the results of their choices. I realized both brothers are me. I have always been a very spiritual person, that was dedicated to God to the light etc. But I also had developed a spirit of rebellion many years ago when I was about 11 or 12.
This spirit opened me up to many other rebellious people and parts of life. I realized how this spirit of rebellion is the sin that starts all other sins. It is the foundation of all other sin. I can honestly say that nothing good ever came from the spirit of rebellion in my life. It took me down many hurtful roads. All my regrets come from following this spirit. So today I immediately did a little repentance prayer for the spirit of rebellion within me and incredibly the second I did it, I felt my face smile and a wonderful warmth, joy and light filled me up. It was an amazing experience.
I feel the light was shone upon this problem, and now I can see in life how many people are ruled by this spirit, how our whole society has allowed this spirit to take over and how this has lead us into all the sin and corruption that is plaguing our our society now. I can see in history when we read scripture, rebellion is the seed that brought whole nations under the control of the adversary and brought them down to destruction. It is this spirit that has caused us to call evil good and good evil.
I can see now that if we allow this spirit to cultivate in us, we then give over some of our control to the adversary and he does then have some control over us. That control can take us into all kinds of sins, and addictions. Misery ensues. The good news is we can repent of this, and be rid of it, thus freeing our spirits. In our church we are not left without the instructions on what will bring us the most happiness and success. We really can't feign ignorance. It is imperative that we listen to,and follow Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, Scripture, the Spirit, the Prophets, the General Authorities, and the Church. They really know the truth, they really know what will keep us safe, help us to live the best lives we can live, live as the highest and best versions of ourselves, live the lives we were born to live. Live the lives Heavenly Father wants for us. They really are the voices of God and have all the keys of the Kingdom for us. They know exactly what will give us the happiness we truly desire.
I now openly receive, accept and embrace the Truth through all the ways Heavenly Father speaks to me. Through prayer, scripture, the Spirit, Jesus, the Prophets, and the Church. For I know they have all the keys of my happiness. I willingly listen and follow with a spirit of joy and trust!
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